Category Archives: Music

New Music: Shakey Graves and Esme Patterson Dearly Departed On Conan

The other night my friend, boyfriend, and I were watching Late Night with Conan; which is better in California because it’s on at 9 instead of midnight. We were being delighted by Jennifer Garner telling a story about how she hired a herd of goats to kill the rats that were eating the ivy on the hill of the home where she and Ben Affleck live – casual every day stuff. And then we all kind of got up to go to bed because even though it’s on at 9 we were still on East Coast time so, basically asleep.

As I was kind of brushing my teeth and padding about, I heard a song coming from the television and headed back out to the living room to see what it was, and turn it off. Only, when I got there, to the television, I was more transfixed than I have ever been by anything I’ve ever stumbled upon on a television.

I was frozen. I sat down. I couldn’t look away. I couldn’t look away from how beautiful the song was, and the way their 2 voices sounded together, and I couldn’t look away from this MESMERIZING, alluring woman. Whose voice was like syrup and honey, who had the sweetest way of looking at and interacting with her male counterpart on stage, her claps, and sweet little smiles and interactions with the mic, the husky voice, and cute, simple little lace dress and cropped curls and yellow weave flats. And their DANCE MOVES. Something about the way the two of them were moving together on stage had me G.L.U.E.D. to the television. It was so sexy. The chill, snaky hip sways and snaps. Their presence literally pulled me in and if there had been an earthquake at that very moment I wouldn’t have been able to look away.

I was THUNDERSTRUCK. Nothing on television has ever had me that at its mercy. No song that I have ever heard live has ever, I mean really – ever – just STOPPED me and pulled me in like that. I was gutted; at the points where they really wail it out, and put their heart into it and just SING, my neck was crooning towards the television just FEELING the music in my core. Every time I listen to it, my heart RISES in my chest like I’m ascending the big hill of a roller coaster.

Especially around the 3:00-minute mark, at 3:03 and 3:23 when she’s REALLY singing the “YEAH YOU AND I BOTH KNOW” – ugh, gets me going.

I never wanted it to end. I was in love with the 2 of them. Their Kings of Leon-country act and sound. The guy himself was pretty darn good looking, and with his cute hat and outfit (loved the red tie) and that gorgeous voice; but mostly I could NOT stop looking at this force of a woman. I am in ACTUAL love with them. I have watched it like 47 times. Never loved something so much.

I was so like, happy, that I had just happened to be watching Conan that night, because otherwise, I was thinking, I probably wouldn’t have heard about Shakey Graves for years, if ever. Like none of them have a wikkipedia page and I have more followers than her on Twitter.

SO obvs I then had to research and read everything about them. Basically Shakey Graves is the dude, but  has been touring with this chick Esme Patterson for the harmonies on certain songs. That killed me right there because I’m like, these 2 need to be in love and be married and have babies and sing together every day forever for the rest of all of our lives.

He, apparently, had a role on Friday Night Lights (which I watched religiously – I feel like I remember his cute country face but can’t remember what he did or was on FNL! anyone?). He’s super talented, clearly, and was a name to watch at Austin City Limits, but only by like…serious music peeps who study everyone up-and-coming. I googled and haven’t seen even a mainstream non-mainstream publication mention him.

Don’t you just love places like Conan for featuring musical acts that aren’t huge but are AMAZING so you can discover them? I always appreciate that.

My favorite thing I discovered though is that Esme (who sings for another band and solo as well) created an album of songs that are responses to classic songs about females who don’t get their own voice (like Dolly Parton’s Jolene).

She was talking about this one Elvis Costello song that she decided to write a response to, and what she was saying about it was HILARIOUS. I laughed out loud. Laughed out loud like I was reading a funny text from my friend. Legit was lolling. The interview is asking her about some of the songs she decided to write the response to – and how sometimes you just listen to songs without realizing, oh wait…..this song’s kind of messed up. The interview/she goes:

It’s interesting where you can listen to songs over and over and glaze over some of the actual intent and meaning.

Yeah, like that Elvis Costello song, “Alison.” What he’s hinting at the whole time is that she got pregnant, and he’s like, “Well, it’s not mine, okay. Like, I heard that you’re just a tramp,” you know. He just seems like such a jerk to her. And it’s clearly like years and years after the fact, too, that he said in the song, “It’s so funny to be seeing you after so long,” and then he goes into all this catty mean stuff. It’s like, “Geez, Elvis Costello. You’ve got some issues.” And that’s a song that when it comes on the radio, everyone sings along with it. Then you just pick the lyrics apart and “Wow, that’s so mean!”

I don’t know how many times I’ve listen to “Alison” and never realized what it was really about.

He’s like, “I don’t know if you were loving somebody, I only know it isn’t mine.” He also says, “I heard you let that little friend of mine take off your party dress.” It’s like years and years later. Why are you so mad still? Like, chill out, Elvis Costello. Why does it matter to you what I’m doing.

Lol I love her. Why you so mad still ? LIke chill out, Elvis Costello.  How hilarious is that.

I don’t even know the song, right, I’ve never heard it, but how she talks about it makes so much sense slash is HILARIOUS. How Elvis Costello himself in his own song in the lyrics is admitting that it’s been years and years and years since he’s seen this chick, Allison, and he says hey, and then goes into this like angry rant about how she’s a whore who took her dress off for his friend and she’s thinking as she’s listening, like……dude it’s been 20 years, why do you care still. Like Elvis Costello get over it. hahah I don’t know i just think it’s hilarious. The comical idea of Esme listening to the song pondering what seems to be a disproportionate story……this woman being like oh I’m pregnant and him being like IT’S NOT MINE, TRAMP and then still being mad about it 2 decades later. Like basically he was kind of just mean and a dick to her but it’s his song and his point of view so no one stops to question why he’s such a spaz. I don’t know i can’t stop laughing about it.

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On Big Sean and Kendrick Lamar – Control, and hip hop thoughts

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I was out in NYC with my darling South African BFF on Saturday and the DJs at PH-D at Dream Downtown (probably one of my favorite venues in New York City if only for sheer design / layout / view), were crushing it and I was jamming out/ in my own world as they played some amaaaaaaazing tunes.

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{The view is not real. It’s sooooooooooo beautiful / perfect.}

The last time I was there, it was over Governor’s Ball, and me and my fellow hip hop loving friend Juan, who had been listening to classic 00’s hip hop like Fabolous and Ja Rule and Juvenile all day, ended up dancing until 4 in the morning as the DJ played pretty much EVERY amazing rap tune from 1990-2013. We also met Gary Clark Jr. and the lead singer of Passion Pit, who were in town for Governor’s Ball, so our experience there was pretty much as good as it gets. Also these weird color dance monsters:

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The DJ both times ended up playing dance-y versions of Kid Cudi Pursuit of Happiness and School Boy Q Hands on The Wheel. In my opinion, if you’re a DJ and you’re playing really awesome, amazing dancier versions of the best hip hip songs out there, and you play Kid Cudi and Schoolboy Q, you’re my favorite DJ that’s ever lived.

I personally – above any and every type of music there is – love hip hop. Best of all. I love electronic music, and love artists like Rusko and Mylo, and am obsessed with the electronic artist Viceroy (about whom I wrote this worshipping post) but the reason I like his music for the most part is BECAUSE he takes tunes like Montell Jordan’s This Is How We Do It and Return of The Mack and Ginuwine Pony and Biggie’s Going Back To Cali and makes them dancy-er.  The truth is that I don’t really like strictly electronic music that much, when I’m out dancing at least. I don’t want to hear just…sounds. I want to hear Fat Joe and Big Pun and Lil Kim cracking me up with their thundering voices and hilarious lyrics. I want hip hop. That’s why Viceroy is the SHIT. Because he works with / from hip hop.

I had one of the best nights of my LIFE dancing at Li’l Charlies on Saturday and will maintain that it was one of the best 4 hours of music a DJ has ever played and that’s because it was all hip hop. I was dancing so hard I bruised my own self. Like from sheer force of dancing. I didn’t fall, but woke up the next morning with 5 new bruises and texted Cheralee like, I don’t understand where these came from. I think I danced too hard and bruised myself internally. The music was that good. Literally.

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{Casual 6-am post-dancing shot}

Needless to say, we met some new friends and one of them was muy intrigued by how crazy I was going when the good hip hop songs came on. He was like, “oh you’re a rap fan, let’s discuss.” Actually I think that came about after I aggressively rapped about 6 songs in a row and he was like “hmm, you do seem to know every lyric to everything….” I am always EXTREMELY excited to discuss these things with anybody who is interested. So we sat back on the nice leather couches as civilized party goers do, and got to discussing the music. He said “right now: no thinking: WHO ARE YOUR TOP FIVE FAVORITE RAPPERS OF ALL TIME.” I got a physical PAIN in my stomach at the thought of selecting. But I just SPOKE. No thought. I just said, very confidently and with the conviction of someone who doodled Lil Kim’s name in whiteout on her binder at her all-girls catholic private school in 6th grade, and who literally acted like she was part of the Puff Daddy and The Family family, and who cried when she got to meet Puff Daddy and he wrote “Alina — Stay Real” on a picture, and would like, cry out of happiness when Notorious B.I.G. songs would come on the radio, and would jam out to MC Lyte, Da Brat, and Timbaland and Magoo when her friends were listening to Shania Twain and said to him: “Wiz Khalifa, Snoop Dogg, Nate Dogg, Kendrick Lamar, and DMX.” hahahaha even the DMX surprised ME when I said it. I think I stand by it.

But then as soon as I spoke those 5 I was like FUCK wait I need to add five more. Make that 12 more.  Tupac, Yeezy, Big Sean, Dre, Eminen, Wu Tang, A$AP rocky, ASAP Ferg, and Trini James, DRAKE.

I’m fucking OBSESSED with Drake. And Kanye. And Big Sean. And then there’s OUTKAST. Andre. And Three 6. And Rick Ross hahaha Ricky Rozay my boy. De la Soul. Redman and Method Man. BUSTA RHYMES?!?!?!?!??! NAS?!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and ludacris!!!! YES. LUDACRIS. THAT’S RIGHT.

HOW COULD I EVER PICK 5.

OMG AND 50 CENT?!!!!!!!!! WHAT. He has to be in my top 5. I don’t care about anything that anyone says, or writes. I don’t care about critics, about magazines or blogs or main stream or indie. I don’t care what Spin or Complex says. I don’t care what other people think, I just know what I like and what I’ve been listening to and what I think is good shit, and I WORSHIP 50 Cent and G-Unit.

He and I also discussed hating Jay-Z. Hate. Although I LOVELOVELOVELOVELOVE Tom Ford and think the beat and his lyrics on it are the closest thing he’s gotten to being as good as he was back in the 1998 cash-money-hoes days, which were the only days I dug his stuff. Since then I can’t stand his stupid grunts, and rapping about cubanos and cigars and various other toolish things. So we got along because we both don’t like Jay-Z with a vehemence.

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{Dance break bathroom selfie at Ph-D}

Seriously though hip hop as always been my one true love. I have been listening to Russ Par In The Morning on 93.9 WKYS since I was a child. I’ve mostly always listened to the stuff that came out new and live from when I was age 8 on – so like 1994 to present. But I do listen to earlier shit, like I love love love love Slick Rick, and Run DMC, and Beastie Boys. But I was 10 years old when Tupac Hit ‘Em Up came out, and when the whole Biggie/Tupac feud was happening and I remember all of it, and I remember the magnitude and excitement of it even at that age.

Many many many times since it came out, particularly in recent years, I’ve listened to Hit ‘Em Up and laughed/marveled at the lyrics and their intensity. I frequently play the “Pandora Classic Hip Hop” station for 11 hours at a time (it’s a dirty little secret of mine – probably the best playlist you’ll ever come up with is playing Pandora’s classic hip hop station) and Tupac’s Hit ‘Em Up comes on every time. I’ve known the lyrics for over a decade, and I remember I used to drive around in high school laughing when he says “That’s why I fucked your bitch you fat motherfucker.” hahaha who can hear that and not laugh.

My favorite parts have always been, “First off, fuck your bitch and the clique you claim,” and “You claim to be a player but I fucked your wife.”

And my favorite line of all time – it gives me CHILLS every time I hear it!!! – is the way he says “Biggie remember when I used to let you sleep on the couch and beg the bitch to let you sleep in the house.” And then he gets REAL angry and spews, “NOW IT’S ALL ABOUT VERSACE, YOU COPY MY STYLE, TEN SHOTS COULDN’T DROP ME. I TOOK IT AND SMILED.”

And then “Lil Kim is you coked up or doped up” has always made me laugh, because it was before she was even that cracked out.

And then when it gets REAL intense, perhaps the best crescendo ever, “But we ain’t singing, We bringing drama
FUCK you and your mother fucking mama.” He brought the wife and now he brings the mom into it.

And then when he starts talk-singing at the end, it’s just the best. The BEST. PART. EVER.

Now when I came out, I told you it was just about biggie.
Then everybody had to open their mouth with a mother fucking opinion
Well this is how we gonna’ do this:
fuck Mobb Deep,
fuck Biggie,
fuck Bad Boy as a staff, record label, and as a mother fucking crew.
And if you want to be down with Bad Boy,
Then fuck you too.

I get most excited to sing along to: “fuck Bad Boy as a staff, a record label, and a mother fucking crew. And if you want to be down with Bad Boy, then fuck you too.” hahahah it’s like so specific and articulate. And I was so down with Bad Boy.

Needless to say, it doesn’t matter whether it’s the 4 thousandth time I’m hearing it, it never doesn’t make me think to myself how crazy it is and how crazy it was. Like they straight up talked about murdering each other, their wives, and their moms. And how nobody has made songs that intense since. In the 17 years since Hit ‘Em Up, rappers have made….digs at each other….little jabs…little call-outs, but nothing that compares to that. Actually I think 50 probably came the closest. To talking about legit murdering people. He was pretty hood. And Tyler The Creator did that song about stabbing Bruno Mars. Hahaha but Bruno Mars isn’t his contemporary and it was kind of just funny more than anything. Even though he is slightly terrifying.

UNTIL today.

I heard Big Sean’s sexy voice on the radio and practically crashed my car because that’s what happens every time I hear him rap, and knew it was a brand new song because I hadn’t heard it. I was listening, and already losing it at how good it was. And then Kendrick came on and I about DIED when I heard him call out every rapper that is his ‘competition’ in the game today, and say he hoped their core fans never heard of them, and that he’s going to murder them (lyrically, professionally) and he’s better than all of them and is the king of both coasts. I’m not sure anything will ever get as intense as the Tupac / Biggie thing. It’s no “hit ’em up” butttttttt it gets as close as anything has in 17 years. It was pretty fucking EXCITING / cool to hear someone FINALLY just call people out and incite shit. Start shit. It’s EXCITING! It really is. It makes everyone better. NO ONE DOES IT ANY MORE! EVER! He sounds DIRTY. Mean. Fierce. It actually gets my heart pounding. I am high off of this song and what it represents. The idea of his drive. Like, I love you guys, but the truth is, I hope no body’s ever heard of you because I am the fucking KING. No bull shit, I want to run shit, and I love you guys, but I hope no one’s ever heard of you. I mean, he is legend already. I hope this gets so much more intense and heated and just results in the sickest raps and rhymes. Do you know HOW excited I am for everyone’s responses? And his responses to their responses? There’s nothing better.

That’s all.

#firstoffFUCKYOURBITCHANDTHECLIQUEYOUCLAIM

BIGGIE REMEMBER WHEN I USED TO LET YOU SLEEP ON THE COUCH AND BEG THE BITCH TO LET YOU SLEEP IN THE HOUSE.

They used to be FRIENDS!!!!!!!!!!! I always talk about that with whoever I’m with when I hear that line. I’m like…..they were such good friends that he would CONVINCE biggie’s bitch to let him back in the house when he was in the dog house. Like they were BROS. And now they’re both dead : ( But the music lives on. And Kendrick is carrying the Makaveli torch. Fiiiiiiinally. Hopefully no one dies – just some good fun rap battling. : / 

Also I need to marry Big Sean.

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Filed under Good Shit You Should Know About, Music

JET LIFE / VICEROY / I’M GOING BACK TO CALI

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dancing

Omg.

It’s been so long since I’ve posted which is only because….life over the last 2 months has been fucking insane in the most fun, amazing, exactly-what-your-20’s-are-supposed to be way. Work hard play hard, don’t stop.

(also on that note- when I don’t blog for weeks or months at a time, you should/can follow me on instagram and twitter because I am literally tweeting/instagramming at all hours of the day. So even when I haven’t written a blogpost, you can keep up with me in those places cause I’m always alive and well in twitter/insta world.

Twitter: https://twitter.com/TheHyperbalist

Insta: http://instagram.com/thehyperbalist

My username for everything is my blog and brand name- -The Hyperbalist bitchhhhhhhhh).

*and ps I take that back – it’s exactly what life is supposed be like ALWAYS, not just your 20’s. Never stop.

The world is just full of so much good food, good music, good places, good people, good experiences, good movies, good fun, good clothes, good make-up, good shoes, good images, good visual pleasure,  I just want  to experience it all. I wish sleep never had to occur. The past few weeks have been full of visits to NYC, Miami, and NYC. And NYC. And NYC. I have a *LOT* to say about how much fun the trips have been and I actually just typed it all out but then deleted it because I wanted this post to be focused on the reason I sat down to write the post. MUSIC. One song and one DJ in particular.

This Viceroy remix of Biggie’s Going Back to Cali:

Above is the soundcloud – all you have to do is hit the play button to hear it within this blog post.

and here is the youtube to it-

BECAUSE

It is

the

DOPEST

TIGHEST

SICKEST

MOST AMAZING

remix

of all time ever.

I heard it for the first time on Friday night at my friend Peter’s in NYC.

The minute I heard the first notes, something weird started happening inside me. It’s what good music always does to me. It’s what good music does to anyone who has half a brain heart or soul. I WILL give the caveat that because I am latin, beats and music might just mean more to my blood and soul. I was basically born dancing. Moving my hips, raging, swaying, swinging my hips, feeling more alive than I’ve ever felt when good music is on, I guess it’s biological and innate to me. When I hear a good song I just…start….dancing….and smiling….and feeling high. I’m sitting at LPQ right now (I exclusively call le pain quotidien LPQ because it’s fucking hilarious/ridiuculous) – and like,  I CAN’T. STOP. DANCING. I’m that person on the train, the restaurant, the street, that has music on and is just bobbing their head and popping their shoulders and moving everything inside me and feeling like life is the best thing on earth.

So back to Peter’s on Friday night. I’d gotten off a long bus, I was tired, I was convinced I wasn’t going to go out. Peter, just doing his thing, puts this on. He’d been playing amaaaazing music and then he puts this on just because it’s one of his regular jams. And I heard it. Dropped my bags. And was like, FUCK IT LET’S THROW OUR LIVES AWAY AND DANCE UNTIL WINTER COMES. But it wasn’t just that. It was the best song I’ve ever heard. It’s like…..my ears were having an orgasm. I took off my sweatshirt I’d been wearing on the bus. Threw on a crop top. And was like – LET’S. DO. THIS.

IT’S SO. FUCKING. GOOD. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Going back to Cali has always been one of my favorite songs of all time – right – but this Viceroy remix……….

It’s too genius and amazing for words. It’s……it’s absolutely genius.

It’s got this like….island, carribean beat. When you first hear it….it’s like….straight up carribean but with that pounding driving almost ’80’s beat – the kind of beats that are on the soundtracks to movies like Ferris Beuller’s Day Off and Fast Times at Ridgemont High and and the opening credits to Eddie Murphy’s movies. And all of the best, now-cliche, bad comedy cop 80’s movies. Or like any movie with Emilio Estevez in a white tee shirt and light-wash high-wasited jeans. It makes me want to simultaneously kick box and throw elbows and just straight up freak dance 8th grade style – when i move you move just like this. Right hip, left hip.

Like the beat is so SICK, the way he threw this chill island sound on this thug hip hop song. The aural EUPHORIA that it brings to the song…..it made me want to start salsa and samba-ing to this shit but then it also makes you want to just rage rave-style. I want to spin around in circles and sway my head and sip a drink and twirl and twirl with a grin plastered to my face and just never stop dancing. It transports me to another world. My state of mind is not on this earth when I hear this song.

If you haven’t already clicked on the last like 5 times I posted it in this blog post. Start now. It starts…and the sound is so…melodic…it’s a floaty sound. You feel like you’re floating and it’s just so perfect. Then….those carribean sounds comes in and you’re like…WAIT A MINUTE WHAT’S HAPPENING HERE….this song is making me GRIN it feels so good to listen to and now I’m feeling compelled to shake my butt and hips right now…interesting..interesting and then..the BEAT COMES IN AND it’s like, omfg!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LIFE. IS. BEAUTIFUL.  I want to never. stop. moving. ever. I want to party for the next 10 years straight, as long as this song is on. This is the greatest I’ve ever felt in life. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THOSE SOUNDS AND BEATS!! AS BIGGIE’S THICK HEAVY DRIVING VOICE RAPS ABOUT GOING BACK TO CALI.

And what’s insane and just so…COOL to me is that what I just described feeling is the sound that Viceroy intended to create and succeeded at creating — youth, endless summer, JET LIFE. That’s why like 90 percent of these DJ’s mixes name their mixes that, because  it’s literally about creating a sound that is so GOOD that you truly feel like nothing else matters and the only thing you want to do when you hear the songs is drink, party, dance, and have the most fun that can exist in life. The song literally SETS the stage for and CREATES the fun. Can you imagine being so gifted at sounds and music that you can CREATE something that makes people feel and do that when they hear the shit you created? Jet Life in the non-music world means – the high life, the best life, living fresh to death, – to feel  happy, and positive – to see all good and be in good spirits, to have fun and enjoy life. AND THAT’S EXACTLY what I articulated above and felt immediately upon hearing Viceroy’s jet-life song(s) for the first time —  even before I ever even knew what jet life meant!!! The definition of jet-life is what I felt and wrote before I confirmed on urban dictionary what ‘jet life’ means in the non-music world-  and Viceroy is able to create music that EMBODIES that. It’s WHAT THESE SONGS MAKE ME FEEL!!!! IT’S INCREDIBLE!

He took one of the best hip hop songs of the 90’s and made it into a ‘jet life’ song with a caribbean/electro dance beat. And It brings so….so….MUCH to the song. I love how the beats and sounds change from the chorus to the verses. Like when he comes in for the chorus rapping “GOING GOING, BACK BACK TO CALI” it’s like you want to FIST PUMP Pauly D style right – and then it softens out back with those carribean sounds when he is rapping the verses and….well you still want to fist pump but you also just want to circle around in a euphoric daze.

Can you seriously imagine being so talented, and having such a mastery of the world of music, that you sit down in your studio and you’re like “hmm…today I’m going to take Biggie’s Going Back to Cali and I’m going to do something to it…I’m going to completely reinvent it and give it this new life…this like…tropical dance life that inspires pure BLISS in people when they hear it.” And being able to take your sound board and computer/whatever the fuck it is that EDM artists use to create their songs, and start with a completely blank canvas and just..turn it into this?

Seriously in all of my life of being addicted to music of all kinds, I’ve never thought a remix was as genius as this. The song starts….then at the 10 second mark you hear those FIRST tropical sounds….and at then at the 20-second mark that BEAT! And then it kind of fades out at the minute-mark building up in prep for the chorus, and then at 1:07 you hear that FIRST chorus with the heavy beat.. UGH!!!! I’ve listened to it one THOUSAND MILLION times since Friday night. What’s interesting to me is that so, I listened to like 4000 more of his mixes – all of which are the sickest thing ever and so amazing, but nothing beats the musical genius/feeling/power as the Going Back to Cali and what I felt when I heard it for the first time (and every one thousandth time afterwards), and I started doing research on Viceroy, whose name is Austen Afridi, based out of San Fran, and I read an interview with him, and was so like…fascinatED/delighted/personally-vindicated because the interviewer asked him what his favorite song/mix he’d ever done was, and HE HIMSELF *personally* singled out the Going Back to Cali mix, and said “That’s a really tough one, the last 5 remix’s I’ve done have been really fun projects, but I really enjoyed producing the “Going Back to Cali” remix. It’s such a fun tune and it made me realize the potential my Jet Life remix series had for success. It just plays into my niche summer sound yet as I was saying before it reaches new audiences and allows me to branch out.”

And I was like. FUCKING EXACTLY. Like I may not work for Pitchfork or Spin magazine and I may not be an EDM artist, but I fucking know when a song/sound/tune is next-level and it took one millisecond of hearing and feeling that song to be like “this is some of the best shit I’ve ever heard.” And of all the tapes and tunes Viceroy’s done, HIS personal FAVORITE is Going Back to Cali too. !!!!!!!! Like, I know my shit. Stick with me. And Peter via me. I told Peter: “I owe all of the joy I will experience for the rest of my life to you introducing me to Viceroy.”

And that niche summer sound –  that’s just so fucking exactly what it is. He has all these other mixes on his soundcloud page -https://soundcloud.com/viceroymusic

and  the Viceroy Vita Coca mixtape is SO fucking good and it’s just like….endless summer. Endless summer.

My 3 other favorite jet life mixes he did are: Montel Jordan’s This Is How We Do It (which is definitely my second favorite after going back to cali)

Soundcloud link here:

And youtube here:

I mean………at about that :30 mark when the beat comes in….it’s so beautiful it makes me want to CRY. It’s so. fucking. dirty. It is so good I …………I think I need to move to San Francisco and just be his groupie because the level of his talent makes me emotional.

ARE YOU LISTENING TO THIS?????????????

So after going back to cali and this is how we do it, my other two fave jet lifes were –

Return of the Mack

IT’S SO. GOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HOW CAN YOU NOT WANT TO STAND ON A TABLE AND FIST PUMP WHEN THAT BEAT COMES IN THE CHORUS?!?!?!?!? DO YOU NOT?!?!?! Doesn’t it make you want to pop bottles and dance all. fucking. night?!?!

The way he infuses this tropical sound into the songs is like…so fucking…attractive. I can’t.

And the 4th favorite was his remix of Ginuwine’s Pony –

SO.

SO.

SO.

DIRTY

DIRTY DIRTY GOOD

I mean……….

As I’ve been posting/about typing all of this, I’ve listened to each song with headphones on at LPQ and like……WHAT!!!!!!!!!! I JUST WANT TO QUIT LIFE AND DANCE ON A BEACH IN THE BVI’S WITH A PINA COLADA AND 4 MILLION PEOPLE MOVING TO THE BEAT OF THE MUSIC. Or literally ANYWHERE. Peter’s apartment in NYC with AC on and just five 20-somethings sipping on something in a solo cup just HAVING. FUN.

When the songs starts breaking down into the “first we’re gonna get nasty baby…..” and the beat builds and builds….and then…..stops…..and then…………..DROPPPPPPPPSSSSSSSS.

The goodness of these songs, and all of his other mixes….I CANNOT FUCKING INTELLECTUALLY PROCESS. HOW CAN SOMEONE BE SO GENIUS WITH MUSIC.

OMG…..

his remix of Brett- Confidence is so fucking good too – I am listening to it now and like….trying not to freak OUT.

I love love love love love it. It’s just so happy! Can you hear the dude sing the chorus and not feel happy and smile? The verses with his voice are driving and  sexy with his voice and the lyrics, and then chorus is just like…..FUCK IT LET’S JUST BE HAPPY AND ALL JUMP OFF A CLIFF TOGETHER. THE CLIFF OF VICEROY’S DANCE BEAT. THE CLIFF OF LIFE. LET’S JUST SMILE AND DANCE AND TWIRL IN CIRCLES AND CIRCLES AND CIRCLES AND REPLAY THE SONG AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN IN EUPHORIC SUMMER HAPPY YOUTH.

INCREDIBLE that he can take the idea of something- the feeling of utter EUPHORIA and happiness (jet life) and make SONGS that involuntarily MAKE someone feel that way.

That’s some incredible, beautiful shit. Music is seriously my life.

I honestly don’t know how I will ever be able to spend a minute of life with these songs NOT in my headphones. In my ears. Pulsing through me and bringing me such utter and complete joy. I think I might end up in a mental institution with Viceroy’s Going Back to Cali and This Is How We Do It in my headphone in my ears listening to them on repeat for the rest of my years on earth. Totally fine.

**PS it’s been about 20 minutes since I posted and all I have done in that time is listen to every song twice more – return of the mack and pony are SO GOOD and “confidence” is like edging out to be my favorite in terms of desire-to-twirl factor.

I CAN’T. HANDLE. HOW. GOOD. THESE SONGS ARE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*PPPPPPPS – I keep listening to the This Is How We Do It again, and again, and again, and just absolutely DYING inside with overwhelming joy at its goodness. THEY’RE. ALL. SO. DELICIOUS.

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Filed under Good Shit You Should Know About, Music

My life be like

me studioIt is so time for a blog post.

First I’m going to break things down into simple bullet points.

This is what my life has consisted of over the last 6 weeks:

  • work.
  • raging
  • all of the music festivals that exist
  • so much music
  • having non stop fun
  • literally not sleeping
  • iced coffee
  • dranks
  • friends
  • the most fun ever
  • things I can’t talk about on a blog because they’re illegal

Alright so if I never get any further, at least that’s a summation.

We’ll start with Sweet Life. Sweetlife is a music festival put on by 3 bros who are cool who live in D.C. who started the company Sweetgreen. Sweetgreen is the shit. If you live in DC you know it, if you live probably anywhere near D.C. you know it. If you don’t, it’s probably coming to your city soon so don’t worry. It’s a healthy salad company where you can just go and eat delicious food and be skinny and eat yogurt and salad and juice and like, do yoga and listen to music. It’s a lifestyle and the owners are awesome and really into music and and the good things in life. They started a music festival like 4 years ago and get major acts like The Strokes and Yeah Yeah Yeahs and Kendrick Lamar. This the adorbs John Neman from Sweetgreen:

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I was covering it for Refinery 29 so I got a press pass and VIP access to the whole festival so our photog and I could spot well-dressed peeps and take their pictures for the story. I utterly and completely love my job with R29. It’s so perfect for everything I am passionate about. I get to just talk to people, network, go to creative events and festivals, spot well-dressed people (what I do regardless of whether I’m being paid or not), talk to them, find out their info/ask them where they got everything on their body (what I do regardless of whether I’m being paid or not) and listen to music simultaneously. And then WRITE. Legit dream job.

Feast your eyes on the fruits of our labor:

http://www.refinery29.com/sweetlife-festival

This is what I wore:

sweetlife

I got that white cropped silk tie top from Style Etoile on sale for like $40 bucks, it’s Wren, and the softest thing ever and THE. PERFECT. LAYER. to throw on top of things for music festivals! I wore it on Day Three of Governor’s Ball as well:

gov ball day three

(what up dude with a floppy hat, what up).

Sweetlife was INCREDIBLE. Gary Clark Jr. blew our MINDS, and yes I can’t see or think of him without comparing him to Jimi Hendrix, sue me; and the Yeah Yeah Yeahs were out.of.this.world. Karen O is legit INSANE. Actually Holly, my editor, used the most brilliant word EVER to describe her——- deranged. There is no more perfect word. She is actually deranged. And it is AMAZING to watch on stage. I was losing it. Katie (the photog) and I pushed our way to the very very front because I will never go to a show and NOT find my way to the front, every time, and we could see the beads of sweat on her deranged face and everything about it was beautiful. But, she nor anything I’ve ever seen compare to Guns n Roses at Governor’s Ball so we’ll get there.

Actually before Sweetlife was seeing Kendrick Lamar at Cornell for Slope Day. It was an insane amount of fun.

Me and my bff Ellie after the show, where I also pushed my way to the front.

me and el

We went to a delicious healthy restaurant where I had the best kale Caesar salad of my life.

I love road trips, music, friends, sun, grass, Kendrick Lamar, and alcohol. So the weekend worked out well. Saw Kendrick again at Sweetlife one week later and he was like 40 times less good than at Cornell. The crowd was just small enough, the mood was just right enough, it was a way way different experience than at Sweetlife.

Aside from the music at Sweetlife, the other best thing was the FOOD OH MY GADDD THE FOOD. They had all these food trucks that were incredible. Erik Bruner-Yang, the head chef at Toki Underground— what is pretty much non-arguably one of D.C.’s top 3 restaurants–  had collaborated with the team at Woodberry Kitchen, another mad-famous restaurant, on a special menu that will never be re-created again and it was THE. BEST. FOOD. I. HAVE. EVER. HAD. IT WAS SHRIMP-WRAPPED SUGAR CANE WITH CRUNCHY PEANUT SAUCE. OH MY GOD. I have seen Erik multiple times since then and all I talk about is the shrimp-wrapped sugar cane and he probably wants to murder me. He said I’ll never have it again and I said well then I’ll hire you to do the food at my wedding and he couldn’t argue with that. FYI, this is Erik:

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Not long after Sweetlife, I had the PRIVILEGE, the HONOR, of working as the PA (<— production assistant) on Refinery 29’s “30 Under 30” shoot in D.C. We are profiling the 30 most awesome, badass, doing-amazing-things people in our fine city and the team from New York came down for this incredible multi-day shoot and I got to meet/hang with such awesome people. The hair team, the make-up person, the photographer, the photo editor, the catering people (kraft services was from DGS — an amazing new ‘modern’ take on a classic Jewish deli, run by two extremely cool dudes who were ALSO one of the food vendors at Sweetlife so we’d met the week prior), the talent that we were shooting, the owner of the studio we were renting, every single person was amazing to spend time with. I ran the music so every day we balled out to Snoop Dog and Tupac and Nate Dogg and Skee-loo and The Dream and Miguel and The Knife and RAC and White Panda and Crystal Castles and Kid Cudi and Kendrick and Juvenile and Beastie Boys and all of the West Coast rap that ever existed between the years 1990 – 2000.

It was one giant dance party and one of the single best experiences of my entire life. Between that shoot, and Governor’s Ball, and Sweetlife, I have literally experienced the greatest 3 events of my life to date. Ever. It was AMAZING to be around such creative, talented, fun people, and just be creative and do fun tasks like posting crumpled paper to the wall and getting REAL REAL creative with giant rolls of colored seamless. It was the most fun e-v-e-r. And a lot of fulfilling work.

The scene:

30under30

20130531_125443Some of the crew:

30 crew

The owner of the photog studio, Josh Cogan, and Nick from DGS:

20130531_125033Laughing about how we are the “PVC’s” — positive vibe coordinators, otherwise known as hype people, and I realized for the first time ever that I geniously branded myself as The Hyperbalist without even realizing how awkwardly perfect the layered meaning applies to me because I exaggerate a lot, but I am also always the hype person, and hyper as an adjective, so being the “hyperbalist” is literally awkwardly perfect for me on 3 different levels.

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My friend and BADASS jewelry designer Rachel Pfeffer being annoyingly adorable:

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A series of Ryan Mitchell, my new favorite human on the globe, being the funniest person ever. His humor/personality reminds me Polly Shore, but like, 40000 times better. He named his hair salon Eastern Confederate because it was next to a Western Union. YES. #YES. Literally no other reason. He saw the Western Union and was like, meh, fuck it, Eastern Confederate.

ryan

ryan ballerina

ryan smolder

ryan bow

ryan blow dryerLOL I laugh out loud just looking at these.

Me and Ryan poppin’ champs

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crushinngggg it —

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Me and Sarah, the make up star

me and sarah

And a better one: Me, Sarah, and rapper Phil Ade – my new fave picture of all time with him mean-muggin like that —

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John Wall, nbd:

JW

If you don’t know who John Wall is, casually view this please:

Skyler Javier, menswear designer, dripping swag

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The other best part is that I got to write 12 of the 30 profiles. I feel legitimately honored for the opportunity to do this kind of thing. The shoot began my bender of never sleeping. It was so much work and when I got home, I had more work, and then I basically started staying up until 4 in the morning to work on the 12 bios. It was SO fun to get to know the people, be there for their shoot, and get to write their stories…and now I cannot WAIT (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) until the “30 Under 30” series goes live!! I am so proud of it! And grateful to my editor Holly who enables me the opportunity to do this. She is the bomb.com and a legitimately genius editor. And does the best “Stefan” impersonation e-v-e-r. She is better at Stefan than Bill Hader is at Stefan.

Me and Holly : ) She looks like “oops I ate the last delicious DGS cookie but sorry I’m not sorry smiley face” and my body language looks like “girlllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll, girl girl smh.”

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Aside from work and music I’ve also been going to a lot of events around town, because summer brings out the absolute best in me. I just want to do things, live life, and enjoy hanging out with awesome people.

I recently went to the 52 O Street Open Studios — an event in D.C. that I HIGHLY recommend you bookmark for next year or whenever the next one is. I had written about it here, for Refinery 29, and wanted to go because one of the people who lives/works in the 52 O Street Studios is Kelly Towles, the badass graffiti artist whose work and essence and person I am obsessed with and did this piece for our house–

house3and his amazing wife Virginia, a knitwear designer, and their adorable baby and 2 dogs and just general amazingness. While there, I happened to meet Skyler Javier, the rad menswear designer whose profile I was writing for 30 Under 30. I walked in to his studio and was like oh this is cool, and then I was like, WAIT A MINUTE, you’re…it’s you! I’m writing a story on you! I love the creative scene here in D.C. So small and everyone is nice and supportive and loves our city. This was Skyler’s studio:

skyler2

And the Saturday after the 30 Under 30 shoot, I went to the D.C. Meet Market — an event run by none other than Virginia, since she and Kelly are the ultimate entrepreneurs — a kind of mini-ish flea market type event on the first Saturday of every month down in the Logan Circle area where my friend Fitz lives. My friend Cameron who I’ve known since I was 12 and used to be my roommate started a jewelry line, Saint Clair jewelry, and she had a booth and I’d been meaning to go out and check it out, so I went and got iced coffee and just hung out at her booth with her for like 3 hours. And Libby Diament, my other jewelry designer friend (who I wrote a story about for Refinery 29 that will be coming out this Friday!), and Sarah Cecilia, my other jewelry designer friend (I met all these amazing female jewelers- Rachel and Libby and Sarah- when I used to work for NBC The Feast back in 2010!) and I basically just acted like I was a jewelry designer with a booth and chilled with the 3 of them in the hot sun for hours and then Cameron and I hula-hooped.

IMG958632And then I left the D.C. Meet Market and met up with my friend Fitz and we walked past The Standard on 14th and they were selling their donuts and they are only one dollar and I bought one and it was the BEST. THING. EVER. OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am getting a Standard donut on Saturday every time. They’re a dollar! AYFKMRN? And FRESH and doughy and soft but fluffy and sugary. I. love. my. city. and neighborhood. I was so high on D.C. that day. Fitz and I caught up, drank, snuggled with her pug, and then went to the back patio at Vinoteca for hours and took shots of whiskey which is apparently something I do now. It was so fun.

me and cait vinoteca

And, weirdest coincidence EVER, Skyler, the menswear designer with the studio, who moonlights as a paramedic, literally had to come to Vinoteca, medically, to take care of some girl who had gotten sick, so we were drinking and I turned around and saw him in a Paramedic uniform and was like, oh wow, we were in the studio 24 hours ago taking your picture as a menswear designer and now you are saving someone’s life. THAT’S DC FOR YA.

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Then………………..

after basically not sleeping for like 5 more days due to working on 30 Under 30 profiles late at night since that’s when I work, it was time for Governor’s Ball.

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I CAN’T start on Governor’s Ball right now. I just can’t. It will take HOURS to write that post. I cannot start like this.

I will leave you with 1-4 pictures and then I will do a SEPARATE, beautiful, dedicated post to the insane GLORY that was Governor’s Ball. Axl Rose is Jesus. God. Michelangelo. He is religion and art and sex and love and beauty and legend. He is legend. He is a once in a humanity talent. Not a life time, not a century, and not a thousand years — a HUMANITY. No one since the dawn of time to the year 2013, including Mozart, exceeds his talent. He is better than anyone. He, and his band, and their music, are better than The Beatles or Rolling Stones or Led Zeppelin or Pink Floyd or Frank Sinatra or ANYONE THE FUCK ELSE AND YOU CAN JUST COME OVER HERE AND TAKE IT UP WITH ME IF YOU DISAGREE BECAUSE IF YOU WEREN’T AT GOVERNOR’S BALL AND DIDN’T EXPERIENCE WHAT WE EXPERIENCED, THEN YOU KNOW NOTHING. It doesn’t matter what genre. I don’t believe in “oh well you can’t compare Axl Rose to….I dont know, Jay-Z or Kanye because it’s just so different.” Nope, you can compare talent. Whether or not it’s rap or opera. Talent is talent. Legend is legend. Truth is truth. It’s just TRUTH. Axl Rose is the fucking truth.

There was mud, there was love, there was friendship, there was food, and there was truth. Axl Rose will make you a believer. In once-in-a-HUMANITY talent. NO ONE. AND NOTHING. HAS EVER. COMPARED TO HIS AURA. HIS MAGNETISM. HIS STAGE PRESENCE. HIS TALENT. I WILL BE HIGH FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE OFF THAT SHOW. I WAS GRINNING LIKE A FUCKING IDIOT. IT WAS FACE MELTING. MY FACE MELTED OFF.

IT MELTED.

I AM FACELESS.

That’s what I’ll leave with you.

SORRY HE PARTIES. SORRY HE IS THE GREATEST ON EARTH. We should all probably just give up because nothing will replicate that experience. Nothing.

I’m going to do a separate post on music too, just the music I’ve been listening to recently and my favorite songs of all time, something I’ve been thinking about a lot recently. Music runs my world.

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Filed under Good Shit You Should Know About, Life and things, Music

A Rusko Giveaway; a tale of music and high school crushes; and a history of my relationship with the 9:30 Club (worth the read trust meeeeee)

Rusko

I interrupt this regularly scheduled programming to offer you my first, ever, giveaway. In honor of my 27th birthday, I decided to give YOU a present.

If you’ve been following my blog since all along, you know that music is an obsession of mine. There was a 3-year period after college where I spent all of my disposable income on concert tickets to the 9:30 club, because it is the single best venue I have *ever* been to and music is my life/makes the world go ’round.

Me with head phones on jamming out at age 2:

headphones

And a legitimately NON -posed, CANDID photo my bff took of me at a bar a few years ago because while other humans talk to each other and have conversations (see left) I am in my own world dancing to the music. As Nate Dogg put it, “Music and Me.”

music and me

I’ve seen concerts at a lot of the places where you see concerts in other cities- Roseland Ballroom in NYC, House of Blues in Boston, various places in Miami- and every time I’m kind of just embarrassed at how much LESS awesome the concert is because it’s not at the 9:30 club.

I was born and raised in DC and one of the first times I ever went to the 9:30 Club for a concert, I was like 17 and going to see– get this– YELLOW CARD!!!!!!!!! Haha I still love them and that nostalgic first album  of theirs so f*cking much. OCEAN AVENUE? SO GOOD. SO GOOD. The harmony when they sing “we would walk on the beach in OUR. BARE. FEET”– so classic. Reminds me of the scene in Step Brothers where the family is harmonizing to Sweet Child of Mine in the car.

I was going there to meet up with my crush, this dude that I had met in Shakespeare class. HAHAHAH I literally sound like the biggest loser EVER, but it was actually the opposite, obviously. Literally we were the only 2 cool humans in our Folger Shakespeare Library Fellowship and he was super emo and introduced me to Brand New and Yellowcard and Taking Back Sunday and Dashboard Confessional. Holy facccccccccccck I listened to the Brand New Album on repeat non stop- IT’S SO CREEPY AND AMAZING AND WEIRD AND HAUNTING AND PSYCHO. Sic Transit Gloria was like my favorite song ever. “SO DIE YOUNG AND SAVE YOURSELF!!!” Classic anti-life angry youth screaming in a girly voice. So hot.

So anyways, he was going to the Yellowcard concert, and me, Ellie, Kate, and Cait were at Cait’s house in Kensington Maryland. I couldn’t drive yet because I didn’t get my license till I was like 18 years old out of sheer laziness; and at this point in time, AKA TEN YEARS AGO, the area where the 9:30 club is was still an area where our parents were like, ‘you’ll get murdered if you go there!’ hahaha I mean not really but as parents they would gasp and be like, “THE 9:30 CLUB?! YOU’RE ABSOLUTELY NOT GOING THERE WITHOUT AN ESCORT.”Oooobbbbviously we had no fear, and lied to all parents involved, and packed into Ellie’s explorer and like….probably printed out Map Quest directions since at the time no body had smart phones or Google Maps so we definitely were still in the era of legitimately PRINTING MAP QUEST hahahhaha I’m laughing just thinking about that. HOW ANCIENT.

What’s so funny is like, I have butterflies just typing this because I remember how CONFUSED we all were getting down there. We had no. idea. where we were. None. It felt like we were driving 2 hours into nowhere’s-ville because everyone lived in the suburbs (even though it’s actually about a 15 minute drive). And thinking about, it’s almost unfathomable to me how far that car ride felt and how little we knew about where we were; because now, I live about 3 blocks from the 9:30 Club and it’s my regular jaunt and of course now the area where it is is like the most desirable area in DC and homes are like 5 million dollars to buy and the Hiltons (as in Hilton hotels) have 2 of the coolest venues sitting right there (in fact one is IN the 9:30 Club– Satellite Room).

Needless to say the Yellow Card concert was epic. I stayed out ’till like 2 am; got a ride home from one of my crush’s friends; snuck INTO my house undetected; and took a math final exam the next day and got an A. Don’t worry about it, I WAS A #LEGEND in high school. It was the night before a final exam (it was December, the semester was ending) and I just straight went to a ragey Yellowcard concert on a Tuesday night. And that is why I’m never having children.

All of that is part of my sheer memory, but I just looked it up for fun confirmation and the concert indeed took place in December– on the  10th of the month in the year 2 thousand and 3, to be exact. The Fall of my senior year of high school. Exactly 21 days later, I would stay up at a Kinkos finishing and sending college applications via The Standard Application on the very last day they were allowed. And 3 weeks earlier, December 10th, 2003, age 17,  I attended a mosh-pitting concert with my crush and then crushed a mathematical final exam the next day in the year when I needed to get into college. I take back what I said– I am having kids because I want them to be exactly like that. Sorry I party.

I will never forget that night, and the way it epitomized friendship– all my girls piling into the car for this thrilling adventure down to the club in the ‘bad part of town’ to support me in my romantic endeavor to win my crush over. (We only ended up making out once– not that night either, and he blatantly ended up being in love with Cait because she is gorgeous and has piercing blue eyes and every guy would always fall in love with her so I’d tell her to look ugly around my crushes and she would because that’s what friends do except it never worked. I’d literally be like “you’re not allowed to shower, don’t put on any make-up, and wear a fugly outfit” and she’d be like “obbbbbbviously.”)

Throughout the rest of high school, I would go back to the 9:30 Club constantly– especially for O.A.R. concerts. That’s cause homeboys were…literally our homeboys, because they were from the area. This was back when their shit wasn’t over-produced and toolish and Game of Poker was the greatest song EVERRRRRR. God damn I had good times at those O.A.R. concerts.

Post college, from age 22-25 my social life was basically going to concerts at 9:30. See this post for an example http://thehyperbalist.com/2011/02/03/ohdeargod/

In that time span, I saw…..

  • Florence and The Machine when nobody knew who she was
  • Wiz Khalifa- pretty much still when no one knew who he was
  • Ratatat (one of Alex and I’s first dates together!)
  • Miike Snow
  • ADELE (I die)
  • Cold War Kids
  • Santigold
  • Lykke Li
  • Little Dragon
  • The XX
  • SBTRKT
  • Girl Talk
  • CSS
  • Beach House
  • Crystal Castles
  • And one million others

Crystal Castles brings me to where this story is coming full circle.

One of the single best shows I’ve ever seen was that concert– where their opening act was someone or something (I didn’t know yet) that I’d never heard of.

It was THREE years ago.

And his name was Rusko.

And when he began performing,

MY WORLD WAS SHATTERED. My mind was blown.

It was the most fun I have ever had. It was this DIRTY-ASS, HEADY,  HYPNOTIC, POUNDING, SICK, GARAGE DUBSTEP.

And he was completely, pathologically insane.

He actually takes the energy that someone like Macklemore has and quadRUPLES it. He is natural crack. The way he jumps on stage, and moves, and dances, and gets the crowd going…he has this aura and energy about him like he’s an excited 16 year old boy except the beats he is creating and jamming to are nastttttty. And he always performs in socks. Hahhaa white athletic ankle socks, with his muscular shapely calves (because all he does is jump up and down), and jean shorts that go down to mid calf. It’s hilarious.

I can honestly say that going to a Rusko show is an experience I wish upon every human being before their death. I really mean that. I am not being hyperbolic. I think a bucket list of life, regardless of musical taste, is being AT a Rusko show–at 9:30 club specifically–and experiencing his energy and music. It’s the most fun I’ve ever had. His stage set is SO FUCKING COOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It’s these giaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaant Hollywood Starlet-type letter-lights that spell Rusko and BOUNCE up and down on hydraulics doing different amazing things depending on the beat.

rusko 4

As he was performing, I was looking around, and there were all these club-chicks totally zoned out and ROCKING out to him, and I asked one of them about him and realized he had legit GROUPIES. Like I was discovering him for the first time in 2010 but this chick said she’d been following him around London and THE WORLD and had been to every single one of his shows. And then we danced together for the rest of the night even though she was definitely on like 9 Mollys and I had to google what a Molly was after hearing every rapper ever mention it in every song ever. For a while I legit thought Rick Ross was saying “Pop a Miley”, referencing Miley Cyrus because she did Salvia and other drugs.

From that point onward, I was a Rusko addict. I went to 2 more of his shows at 9:30 Club, and then last May, Alex and I went to Miami to visit my family. Upon walking in the door to my aunt’s house at 2 am on a Friday, my 13 year old cousin goes “Alina, I’m going to Rusko tomorrow, want to go?” And I was like “IS THE POPE CATHOLIC YEAH I WANT TO FUCKING GO TO A RUSKO SHOW IT WILL BE MY 5TH” (I looked so cool to my 13 year old cousin, JK he didn’t give a fuckkkkkk and probably thought I was less cool for saying that, it was so Amy Poehler as the mom in Mean Girls of me); and at 2 in the morning Alex and I signed on to live nation and bought tickets to a Rusko show occurring less than 24 hours later in a city we were visiting for 3 days total.

But guess what, IT PALED IN COMPARISON TO WHAT RUSKO IS LIKE AT 9:30 CLUB BECAUSE 9:30 CLUB IS THE BEST VENUE IN THE COUNTRY, SORRY EVERYONE ELSE.

My love for 9:30 and for Rusko has been welllll-documented on this blog, and now, I am giving away TWO TICKETS to the Rusko Show at 9:30 Club this coming April. It’s Thursday, April 18th at 10:00 p.m, and the tickets are $40 eachhhh which is expensive for 9:30 Club aka indicative of how legit he is. You really just need to take my enthusiastic word for it that a Rusko concert is LEGENDARY. IT’S THE MOST UNIQUE SHOW YOU’LL EVER GO TO. YOU HAVE TO GO.

rusko art

So if you live in DC, and want TWO FREE TICKETS to see Rusko at this epic venue in our nation’s capital, you need to:

Follow me on twitter: @TheHyperbalist;

and simply leave a comment on this here post with your name! (and email, so I can email you if you win!)

You get an extra entry into the pot if you tweet about the giveaway with hashtag #Rusko930. I’m not going to give you any toolish parameters about what you need to say in the tweet, like “I JUST ENTERED THIS GIVEAWAY with The Hyperbalist!” (I would never make you do that). Just be a human and say anything you feel like saying about it.

I have never once done a giveaway. I would only ever do one about something I feel this passionately about.

RUSKO

IS

THE

SHIT

And honestly you’ll look really cool. Rusko is like…cool, and still, unfathomably so, relatively ‘off the radar’. It’s not like going to see like….Will.I.Am. HAHAHAH who has ever bought a ticket to see Will.I.Am? I hope no one that’s reading this blog. Or even a band that’s legitimately good but known by all. Like Mumford & Sons- amazing, but everyone knows them so it’s not news if you go to their concert. RUSKO? NO BODY EVEN KNOWS WHAT THE WORD IS. PEOPLE DON’T EVEN REALIZE HE’S A HUMAN. THEY DON’T SAY ‘WHO IS RUSKO,’THEY SAY “WHAT’S RUSKO?” So you’re cool if you know who he is.

GOOD LUCK WITH THE GIVEAWAY I SINCERELY HOPE YOU WIN.

And if you don’t win and/or want to buy tickets, here the link! http://www.ticketfly.com/purchase/eventV2/220063?utm_source=hyperbalist&wrKey=61FD2C11DB68F1080A129DC216B25CE9

HAPPY 27TH BIRTHDAY TO ME AND YOU!!!

I’d probably wear this:

concert outfit

*PS. You guys….I just listened to Ocean Avenue again, and like….what the fuck YELLOW CARD IS SO GOOD! IT’S SO HIGH SCHOOL. “There’s a place off Ocean Avennue, where I used to sit and TAWK with you, we were both 16 and it FELTSORIGHT, sleepin’ all day and stayin up all………..NIII-HIGHHHHHT.” And the violin at the end?! I remember at the show, the violinist was SO SICK, he stood on a cube and just like……played his violin but would get all acrobatic and gymnastic and do back flips and shit with the violin. He was the hot one of the group. WHERE ARE YOU THESE DAYS YELLOWCARD?!?!?!

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Filed under Concerts, Good Shit You Should Know About, Music

Super Bass by British Child

Um.

You’ve seen this right???

This is the most incredible thing I have ever seen.

#1–she sings the entire song with a darling little British accent. Rap done in British is the CUTEST. All of her words have their hard edge taken off by the fact that they’re said in a British accent which makes them seem polite and proper, even when she’s saying “somebody please tell them who the EFF I IS.”

#2 SHE HAS A HYPE MAN. This like, 4 year old girl, legit has a hypeman. And didn’t even realize it. In her mind, she wasn’t like “I need a hypeman for this performance,” because a toddler can’t understand the concept of what a hypeman is, but yet she has this bitch on the side, who doesn’t say a single word the whole performance, and just, hypes her up and jams out and riles up the crowd. Like, she knows her role. She doesn’t try to upstage the real star, she doesn’t even speak. She just busts moves and silently mouths the words. She mimes the action of beating the ‘superbass’ drum, she pops and locks it, and she’s just the sidekick, and it’s AMAZING. If she talked, she would be doing what Diddy did in every single one of Biggie’s songs for like 5 years: grunting “yeah.” “yeah.” over and over again in between rap pauses. And she’d fucking KILL IT.

#3 She introduces herself in the sweetest, most darling British voice, “Hello! I’m Sophia Grace Brown Lee, LET’S HIT IT NOW!” And then starts rapping obscene lyrics. She is dressed in a fucking princess costume, with a British accent. And then starts rapping “he might sell coke.”

SHE HITS EVERY SINGLE BEAT. THE GIRL DOESN’T MISS A FUCKING THING IN THAT SONG. She OWNS it. My favorite part is towards the beginning of the song when she lowers her voice kind of sexily and goes “That’s the kind of dude I was lookin’ for.” I have watched this 11 times.

Everything aboutt his is utterly and completely REMARKABLE. I am not like, trying to be funny…this girl is a ONE IN A MILLION star. She is a female, 5 year old version of Justin Bieber. SHE HAS SO MUCH FUCKING SWAG. The attitude she gives in this performance!!!! Her HIP pops!The way she ends the video!!! she is a STAR. She was born a star. This is un.fucking.believable. I want you to look back on your childhood, and weep at how pathetic and ordinary you were compared to this. Look back in your life, think of your cousins and nieces and nephews and everyone you’ve ever known or babysat for– and zero out of any of them have this kind of swag and talent. Imagine doing this at that age.  She is a star.

AND I HAVE NOT YET MENTIONED HER ACTUAL VOICE!!!!!!!!!!!! RAPPING ASIDE, when the first verse of rap breaks, and the actual song-song chorus comes in, she is so passionate and dedicated and just BELTS it out, and the quality of her voice is insane!! At times, she sounds like a legitimate adult singing. SURE, there a few “notes” she could hit better, but notes at that age are irrelevant, the actual QUALITY of her voice is like…husky and amazing. She BELTTTTS that shit!! Such passion!

Look, if you have seen Justin Bieber’s biopic, “Never Say Never,” you know what I’m talking about. Every record producer, talent scout, songwriter, etc. EVER in the history of the music world has said that when they met Justin Bieber, or Britney Spears, or Usher, or Justin Timberlake at age like 5, they just KNEW. Because you can tell when a kid has that special thing that is not measurable or explicable in words. Something extraordinary, beyond the realm of what 99.9 percent of most people have. It’s just IT. Justin Bieber was pounding drums and being a star, with confidence of a level wayyy beyond what a kid his age should have had, at like age 3. That is this girl. The way she ends the video with that OOMPH, it’s like “take THAT BITCHHHH.”

I’m just in shock. Justin Bieber’s manager Scooter Braun is calling this chick up AT: NOW. The video’s already gotten a million and a half hits and it’s going to get millions and millions more. She’s probably going to end up on Ellen and with a record contract. With the right management, this girl could be DYNAMITE.

And now I will go watch it 14 more times. We’re all so talentless compared to this.

Bye.

Oh and I forgot one thing:

THERE’S A FUCKING KEY CHANGE.

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SBTRKT Wildfire

This song is the hottest, sexiest, sickest song I’ve heard in MAYBE five years. It’s so dirty with that chopped dubstep beat. SO HOT. This is a song that people have sex to. Sorry that it is. This is a song people do weird ass drugs to. Haha SBTRKT is this dope dj/producer who refuses to let his human face be part of the picture because he says it distracts people. He doesn’t want himself to be associated with the beats and music/for people to think of his personal human side when they hear his beats so he WEARS A CREEPY TRIBAL MASK DURING ALL PERFORMANCES. Okay, truth be told, it’s really not that creepy. But I betttt if you were in a dark night club on drugs watching a dude in a tribal mask spin intense drum beats, you’d be creeped out. Maybe. Whatever. And I don’t mean that I or you should do drugs, but there is zero chance that 99.9 percent of SBTRKT’s audience at a given show is not on another level.

Apurrrrently this is the official video for the track. How creepy is this? This is some next level shit.

The girl who sings the vocals is the lead singer of Little Dragon, a swedish/japanese chick who, if you didn’t notice from the track has an INSANELY awesome sexy voice, like Lykke Li combined with Sia or something. I bought my boyfriend and I tickets to see her in a few months at the 9:30 club. It’s going to be sick..

Also I’ve added a category to my blog called “Good Shit You Should Know About.” For the record, I posted about Kreayshawn Gucci Gucci 3.5 months before it blew up and became a radio single and was on Entourage soooo you should probably follow my “good shit you should know about” blog posts because it is guaranteed that you will hear about the stuff I’m posting about between 4 months-3 years after I’ve posted about it. It’s just how I do. I found Lady Gaga. hahaha it’s a WELL documented claim to fame within my friend group. 14 months before Just Dance was hot. ASK. MY. FRIENDS. I emailed them about her and then made them watch the Just Dance music video with me and everyone was like who the FUCK is Lady Gaga. I AM JUST SAYING.

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Kreayshawn Gucci Gucci

Hooooooly shit. Haven’t been this stoked on something in a long time. This is so hot. I have listened to it on repeat like 7 times in the past 10 minutes. So much swag. The beat…her rhymes….and the entire fucking video start to finish. I am obsessed. Her STYLE.

“Gucci Gucci Louis Louis Fendi Fendi Prada,  them basic bitches wear that shit so I don’t even bother. ”

Uhhhhhhhhhhhh I love you, Kreayshawn. I would marry this music video if that were something that is possible.

I think it’s so hot when girls are just like, dirty, swagging, bitches. She’s in whackass shit with whackass eyeliner, looking like a chola with her chunky gold earrings and her hoodrat attitude and dirty lyrics and it WERKS.  “I’m rollin up my catnip and shittin’ in your litter. Why you lookin’ bitter?” Haha like whattt.

“I’m snatching all yah bitchez at my LEISUURREEE.” That’s my favorite part. I love how she trails it off.

My other favorite part is– I got the swag and it’s pumpin out my ovaries.

haha this is SO CATCHY. THE HOOK, THE LOOP, HER LOOK, HER STYLE, HER MINNIEMOUSE EARS. I think I might be a lesbian afterall. Like latently. Because I’m legitimately in love with her. Her voice is so sexy. ❤

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In my ears right now

No explanation needed. Good music speaks for itself. This is just…..so…so….GOOD. Pretty Lights– Finally Moving. It gives me chills.

And if you haven’t heard of/aren’t listening to Bass Nectar, get your shit together.

The 808 Track has such sick beats….wait until 0:45 and the dirty dubstep garage beat drops…it does it again at 2:38 and it blows my mind each time. The dude rapping kinda sounds like Bubba Sparx.

And this track is just….dirty. Wait till 0:55. BassNectar–Timestretch. Gets really good at 1:24 too.

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Oh my god

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